Store away from direct sunlight; preferably in a dark drawer with your secrets.

"Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star. The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life."



This is my last entry on this thing. Don't think I'll ever need it again.

I've got something better now.

; )

Cained that exam. The questions were a gift mate. Someone up there likes me...

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

Baptism on Sunday. Flippin' Gostling mate.

Drama = win.

Oh what’s that? Japan had it’s golden era of cinema between 1950 and 1970? Is that true? No way hombre…

‘Fraid so dicks. “Rashomon” (1951), Venice International film festival winner. Yes please. Akira Kurosawa innit? Flippin’ jidai geki… As opposed to a shomin geki or a gendai geki, because it’s set before 1868; before the modernisation of Jap-land.

BUT…

It stands out from conventional jidai gekis. Swordplay scenes? Rare and when done, performed with very little skill. It don’t even glorify it, it undercuts and criticises the samurai code and the egotism that’s in loads of jidai gekis. Okamoto’s “Sword of Doom” anyone? Anyone?

Kurosawa’s all about the role of morality, with a bunch of Western characteristics. John Ford influence? That’s what I thought.

That’s all well and good but what about shomin geki? You know, home or family drama? Well mate, the guy you want for this, flippin’ Yasujiro Ozu mate. Before WWII he was well happy chap, making college comedies and wistful little stories; all for Shochiku (the big studio at the time).

After the war though, he chilled right out, creating a unique visual style which could easily be seen as a “deliberate imitation and action against Western cinema”. As Holly wood was inventing crazier stories and their camerawork was getting mental, he simplified everything.

Tatami shot innit? Corridors, streets, sharp perspective depth.

Lingers on shots of emptiness. Buddhism called this exploration ‘Mu Mu’ which had connotations of ‘void’ and ‘infinity’.

His plots were simplified more and more, almost to the point where nothing happens. He kept his narrative simple so to allow for an in-depth character study. “Tokyo Story” (1953) epitomises his style. The story; two parents visit their children in Tokyo.

THAT’S IT.

Because of his style Ozu was branded a conservative traditionalist with an extremely Japanese aesthetic. You want a shomin geki? “Tokyo Story” mate.

Last but not least, gendai geki (contempory life); but more specifically seishun eiga films.

YOUTH FILMS.

The defining piece? “Tokyo Drifter” (1966) by Seijun Suzuki. A reaction to the westernization of Japan after WWII, “Tokyo Drifter” is a riotous embellishment of yakuza thriller conventions, complete with surreal inclusions of sex, violence and pop music. It reflected the liberations of the 1960s and gave the burgeoning generation X quick, fast thrills.

Japanese cinema what? Done DJs.

Roll that motherflippin’ exam mate.

It's weird. It's a very odd feeling. And sometimes I feel alone but it doesn't matter. Life's well good at the moment. Can't wait. I love it and I love everyone in it. Thanks.

Remember Old Lady? That was fun. What happened to that?
Crazy crazy dudes.

What a way to finish the time at BETHS.

7 years of my flippin' life have gone by at that place and now it's all ending. In two months I'll have forgotten it and everyone in it.

Craig Kirby? Who's that? Oh some fat prick? Whatever.

Stuck in a loop.
Stuck in a loop.
Stuck in a loop.
Stuck in a loop.

See what I did there? Quite funny but sad. Boo hoo...

Analyze this mate. Figure me out from these stupid words. Friday night at 10pm and I'm wasting my time typing things I won't even read. I AM SO COOL.

Lately it's like I'm not even there.
Am I missing something?

Willy. Forever willy.

Jools Holland is on soon. Better be flippin' good 'cause last week was crap. Jamie Foxx? Stick to starring in Michael Mann flicks yeah? Less singing and acting like a prick.

MIAMI VICE.
BRICK (tomorrow after work).

What is work? Will it be fun? I hope so. Might be...

Flippin'...

"Fuck Ashton Kutcher, the public image butcher. His show is a hit and I can't stand that shit. I dont even know him and I hate his guts. If he punks me I wont even sign the release because whenever he punks black people it always involves the police. He be havin' all them white folks at home rollin'. "Brandy, did you know that that jewellery was stolen?" "But hey, I'm a star!" "Well stop shining and get your ass out that car." Now he wouldn't like it if me and my friends just before dawn, bust in his house with ski masks on, put a gun in his mouth and turn on the lights, and just when he screams out, yell out SYKE!"

Dave Chappelle. Funny motherfucker y'all.

made another short film didn't i?

portfolio = well cool

i am king of men.

There are many words in the English language you could choose to use
Trying to paint a portrait of this particular dude
But often facts get abused, people bend the truth
So I’m gonna try and bring the whole story to you
Tonight, yeah right, we gonna set this place on fire, alight
Y’all gonna see embers flying up into the night
Setting up sight, they be burning bright
And if you aint careful y’all gonna get a big fright
Cos this the story of a man down from Sidcup way
He certainly aint large, but he is here to stay
And people know it when he shows it off everyday
He plays and flays conventions like a contrablasson
He’s the one, the stars above, the moon, the sun
I’m laying down my lyrical gun
Let me tell you about the man who redefined fun
We kicking off the party in 3, 2, 1

I spit lyrics but I don’t tell lies
Ask anyone around you’ll get the same reply
This cat I’m talking about, he’s a super fly guy
Blue eyes, strong thighs and if he’d only cry
Y’all know his tears would cure the cancer
In the words of Sister Sledge, “He’s the greatest dancer”
On the face of planet Earth, he’s been gifted from birth
To write words cursive to curse and serve your worth
This Casanova will bowl you over
With his gold, myrrh and frankincense odour
Cold shoulder on the boulder he be older than I told ya
But I will let you know when he’s coming over
Cos this man’s parties are legendary
I’m speaking plain truth just like Jim Carrey
In “Liar Liar”, hold on there’s a fire
Through the wire, this crazy boy take you higher

Poet laureate with gold to his name
I won’t refrain; I’ll explain this guy’s literature game
Haters argue all his stuff’s the same
But I’ma put it on the record that they all insane
They need to get they heads checked before they take the next step
Cos when he throws an insult its like a train wreck
You’ll scream in despair, gasping for air
Wondering how the hell you got here
You’ll be outta your head, wishing you were buried dead
Beating yourself red, wishing that you hadn’t said
Whatever it was to make this gladiator upset
He’s super steady with machetes and ready to fret
Rage all over the stage, counting minimum wage
Stuff your ass in a turkey fill you with sage
He’s a bad mother, I can’t stress this enough
If you cross the wrong paths he’ll make your whole life tough

If you aint guessed already, I’ll tell you my tactics
Don’t mean to be plastic, I was being sarcastic
I really don’t think this guy’s more than a bug
Some fake ass thug who needs a damn hug
I’ll get some DDT out and blow his teeth out
Leave scattered remains, insect stains, get some cheese out
For this mouse, mice with lice
I was kidding the whole time, I aint no more nice
I’ll do a Joe Pesci, put your head in a vice
Ice picks in your balls and stall your whole life
That was harsh I know but I got into a flow
Wrecking this kid who’ll never grow
Into anything more than a tired old joke man
Who holds hands with young boys called Stan
Who thinks in his head he’s a real show man
The fictional stickman, Martin Bowman

This is the sound of settling. This is the sound of something great. This is the sound of something exciting. This is the sound of your voice.

Don't know about you guys, but I'm loving it. My life is sweet as mate.

Lucky me.

You love it you slags.

So yesterday, who should I see in MusicZone after school but Master fuckin' P! Yes way dudes, I saw Master P in MusicZone on Friday the 24th of February! It was crazy. I walked in there looking to burn 4 pounds that was incinerating it's way onto my thigh, when I see the Master (in full gold pimped-out gear) browsing through the DVD section. I aint even joking! Not even one bit. He was looking at the 'Hip Hop Honeys' titles and tentatively rubbing his chin. Awestruck, I finally pluck up the courage to go over there and I introduced myself. "Hey wassup Master?" I said, gazing into his star-rimmed sunglasses. "Yo what's up peckerwood?" "Oh dude I'm a huge fan. I love your work." He perked up a little, turned to me and said "Oh yeah? What's your favourite stuff my homes?" I says "That song you did for Chef Aid was quite good. I don't know any others." After that he didn't want to talk too much. I then went and bought the Val Kilmer porn/crime/drama flick 'Wonderland'. Master P though... Fuckin' mental.

The World Wide Web is a multi-national, bilingual cultural explosion. Like a flaming golden hawk soaring down through the clouds into the homes of every Tom, Dick and Harry, the internet has arrived. With over six trillion different websites circulating as we speak, the breadth of knowledge available is truly astonishing. Everything from episode guides for Thundercats, to how to dismantle an atomic bomb (not the U2 album, although you can get that as well) are available to anyone with a connection. However, as with everything in our perfect little world, there are good points and there are bad points. Thus discussion is inevitable. I shall now attempt to throw some shapes in the church of argument. ACTIVATE!!!

 

Some good points about this widespread introduction of information technology include communication. Through the introduction of email, gmail, WAP technology, 3G and other such things; it is now possible for endless converse across cyber-space. For instance, with a wireless laptop a high profile American actor such as Steve Buscemi (for more information see here) can receive movie scripts from budding screenwriters all the way in Fiji. Yes, I shit you not. It can be done! Also though, more serious perhaps, families and businesses can communicate faster and more intimately. Now this may sound like the dawn of the dead, but lest we forget there is always a rusty thorn in every blooming rose. In this case it comes in the form of young sexy hackers using the most up to date spy ware technology who endeavour to steal valuable information from you (the unsuspecting prole). If you enter your card details on a website to but some bags for example, who’s to say that some little internet whiz-boy won’t use those details to fund his ever-expanding crystal meth addiction? Though protection has been introduced, the clear and present danger still lingers in our depleting ozone.

 

Another disadvantage to this Hiroshima of information is that there is no way to police it. It has grown too large, too fast, too large. Who knows what puerile perversions lie in the murky crevices of an internet chat room? I sure don’t. I’m okay though because I’ve become de-sensitized to such offending material thanks to my over exposure to it. Because of the constant bombardment of popular television, cinema, computer games and contempory art, I’ve seen so much horrific material, it doesn’t move me in any significant way. Okay, that’s me, but what about people less stable than I am? Blacks for instance or people like children people. Every time little Timmy logs into the CBeebies website who’s to say he won’t be bombarded with ludicrous adverts for super Viagra and cheap mail order brides? We need tougher, more forceful web police. Agents with the power to kill any naysayer or wrong-doer who hates freedom and democracy.

 

This incredible modern enigma that is the widespread introduction of information technology is like the plastic top on a Burger King soda pop. It’s pleasing to put your finger in, to cop a taste, but it takes time and pain to pull it out. It is a dangerous tool and my advice would be to use it wisely. Please God listen to me.

Motherfucking cocksucker motherfucking shit fucker what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I know that's all I can ask of myself. Is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy is a sign, right? Because if he isn't, than nothing in this world makes any sense to me. I'm fucked! Maybe I should quit. Don't quit! Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit! I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore! Fucker! Fuck shit!

Nobody sits like this rock sits.
You rock, rock.
The rock just sits and is.
You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.

There is a whale in the river Thames.

She's sweet and kind. She's small and has blue eyes. Swimming alone. She's everything you're not. I don't even talk anymore at all. It's a big elephant. I thought I was talking about whales? Everyone knows except you. Idiots.

And there was this guy on the television and he was like, "Don't go near the whale! Get those boats out of it's way!" Fuck off mate. As far as I'm concerned this whale has invaded British seawater. It should be shot and blown apart like the fat sack of meat it is. I don't actually think that because in truth, the whole incident has left me completely indifferent. Fuck off you big whale. Blubber dick.

And then I think of her. Surrounded by people who are no good. She needs me and I want her.

01. Barton Fink
02. Blood Simple
03. The Hudsucker Proxy
04. The Big Lebowski

I'll watch them in that order as I pig out on stuffed crust pizza and ben and jerry's cookie dough and a tall glass of pepsi with ice in it.

Go here for more.

what the hell happened last night? we just went full throttle straight away. fucking up his house and sticking porn everywhere in his kitchen. digging holes in the garden. pissing in the bushes and in his wardrobe. smashing bottles, cars, cupboards. he loves us. he should do. fantastic.

There is an idea of a Jack Caulfield; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly blood lust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling.

This confession has meant nothing.

Sometimes I live a lonely life, such a pointless life. God know I love to criticize; the only way that I'll get by. Yes, I need common sense. I really wasn't born with it. Shoot me in the face and make these demons dissipate.

I finished my film. Six minutes and a half.

It's cool if I do say so myself.

I'm in complete control so please fuck off. I'm joking though you know this. "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" is back in business. We'll have that one hundred and thirty page bad boy done soon. Sweet as.

"...and these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through..."

David Bowie

36 hours of pure sliding. So tired, so tired. Weak. Muscles worn away. Same room. So long. No movement. One word answers. Fear of sunlight. Eyes hurt. Feel so good. I don't care about anything anymore. All we have is the now. Who cares about crap? Long live Arturo. He is Sliders. Life is the performance, not the rehearsal.

just got back from seeing king kong again. it was good. i hate my friends. or do i? no, i'm kidding because i learnt something this christmas. it isn't just about the presents, and relaxing, and eating so much you act like a complete fucking idiot. no no, it's about more than that.

forgiveness.

that's what i learnt this year. that's what the man in the church told me at midnight on christmas eve. fucking yay!

however, forgiveness takes time. and sure, there may be slips. the odd ignorance or misplaced comment (especially if the company is exceptionally purile) but sooner or later it works.

i met a girl tonight. hadn't seen her in about a year and i remembered how cool she is. i smiled and then jumped in a car. i got baseketball, the breakfast club and arrested development. i paid a debt. i am king of cool. supreme super i am. if you don't think so, fuck you.

everything got so messed up but i think now, finally, it might return to some kind of normality.

happy christmas and a great new year (speaking of which, anyone know of a party somewhere?).